/s4s/ - anime pillow fight

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>>49950 (OP) 
Thank you

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why do you think that is?

I will always be here until my heart stops beating.. I have nowhere else to be..

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I'm still here isn't that fucking hilarious..

>>50024
Im glad you’re here and that you posted a cute picture

>>50027
that makes one of us

>>50028
well if it doesn’t make you happy then why are you doing it?

>>50030
I feel like it..

>>50031
i find that im happier when i do things that make me happy, even if my brain tells me i don’t feel like it

>>50034
yeah.. I haven't done anything all day really.. been trying to fix myself slowly, maybe too slowly..

>>50035
it gets easier and easier the more you try but it’s really hard to get the ball rolling and really easy to fall back into bad habits

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>>50037
yeeeah..

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>>50038
it’s even harder because in the end you just have to be there for yourself… and while loving yourself is important… it can feel a little lonely sometimes.

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>>50039
sometimes the loneliness never processes, those are happier times..

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>>50040
at my best i try and take care of myself with the gentleness with which id treat a close friend or a child

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>>50041
I'm poor in the treatment of others, can't figure it out.. can't express shit..

>>50042
maybe watch some shoujo anime and take notes…

>>50043
I don't watch much anymore ever..

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>>50044
you need to find things you enjoy doing just for the sake of doing! that way when you’re lonely or restless you have something to do that you enjoy. or at least something that takes your mind off things. lately i read a lot of manga.

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>>50045
I should start work on a new game tomorrow.. probably anyway.. unless I want the pile of ideas in my head to rot away as usual..
getting started is the hardest part..

>>50046
writing things down is super good for you too. i find my mental state to be much more stable when im journaling consistently

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>>50048
I usually only write down random ideas, not necessarily everything
I feel like if I were to try to write everything down I might either get too lazy to keep doing it or it might consume too much time.. not that I spend my time doing much anyway I guess..
do you write often or more at specific times instead of throughout the day..

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>>50050
ive been slacking on my journaling lately, but i usually do it before bed or whenever i find myself really emotional. the first couple weeks of journaling were kind of crazy, once i started writing i couldn’t stop until i was too exhausted to keep going and id write like 5000 words per entry. over time i found I had less to write on average, which was nice because it felt like i was getting all the thoughts trapped in my brain out of there onto the paper, so they stopped bouncing around in my brain all the time

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>>50051
seems a bit lonely.. I guess I might get it but typing to myself feels more like a chore than an outlet, maybe because it offers no attention from anyone else..
a dependence on others to listen isn't great when there's hardly anyone around

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>>50052
yeah. sometimes i just make up people or things to motivate me to do stuff when im really struggling lol. i have to make my shoulder angel happy… also i type my journals out on my phone. I don’t think I could write that much without my hand falling off.

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>>50053
yeah when I say write I mean typing as well, don't have the pencils to spare for writing, my handwriting is awful too
I find it difficult to conjure up motivation..

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waow the people in this thread seem really nice. i hope u all enjoy ur day!

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>>50054
though i haven’t kept up on journaling well as of late im proud of myself for getting my bedtime routine to be consistent. even though some nights i reeeaaaallly don’t feel like doing it for inexplicable reasons, i always feel way way better after I do, and some nights i find myself doing it without even thinking 

>>50055
nice dubs

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>>50056
it's okay as long as you feel better..
sleep is important..

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>>50057
sleep is very important… before the last two nights i had only been sleeping like two hours a night for a week or two cuz i was kinda manic it was lowkey really bad and i had such terribly intense mood swings LOL

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>>50058
I luckily never have issues getting to sleep.. though sometimes nightmares and waking up over and over again..
my mania hardly ever lasts.. I get pretty destructive.. probably for the best..

>>50059
sleep is one of the greatest things ever… nothin quite like it…

>>50060
mhm..

>>50060
i wake up seeing silent hill monsters approaching me

>>50066
scary dubs… i hope u have enough ammo…

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I'm sorry I exploded and killed you, my only friend..

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I started working on my newer game and kinda got really really tired and stopped.. difficult to come up with ideas..

>>50121
it'll be okay... 

>>50149
good job starting work. did you make sure to write things down.

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>>50151
I admittedly haven't written anything down for this specific project, it's all in my head at the moment.. I will work on that..
it is a bit difficult to write down a lot of things like ideas for how to structure game systems as that's all code and code is usually best described as itself (maybe with a few comments so my demented ass doesn't forget how things work)..

>>50152
ikwym, im trying to figure out how to organize the room i just moved into in my head and im like "i wish i could write this down.. .but.... im not sure how to write it down....."
im excited for your game though!! i hope you are able to make good and continuous progress on it

>>50154
I hope I can manage to keep developing it unlike the biggest project I've started and have yet to finish about 9 months later..

>>50155
finishing projects can be hard... but thats why i believe routine is super important (even if i dont always take my own advice)!! im always looking at my life and going "fuck. everything goes 100000x better and i feel 100000000x when i have a routine and plan things ahead of time and write in my journal" etc. etc. etc.

>>50156
yeah..

>>50157
ganbatte squishy. let's both do our best today (even if it's already 3pm and im just getting started)

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>>50158
I did some sketches earlier.. some concept stuff.. then got a headache ehe..

>>50159
make sure youre drinking enough water and stuff. headaches are miserable i rarely get them compared to like high school but now when i get them theyre like so bad i want to die. i have the utmost sympathy for anyone struggling with migraines. what kind of game is it if you can share??

>>50160
I was playing Cogmind earlier and that added to my ideas for what I'm working on which is a basic top down RPG about rats, kinda inspired by The Elder Scrolls.. and maybe a bit like old games like the original Legend of Zelda, I am not a great artist..
I've made top down prototypes before but nothing super elaborate, I'm better with 3D code but I guess 2D is just simpler and shouldn't be harder..
I don't want to make a roguelike or something turn-based..

>>50161
that sounds kinda cool. im impressed with anybody who's able to like code/make things AND do art cuz im like i cant do either LOL. thats so impressive. i bet its gonna be awesome.

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I made Conway's game of life to get the tile shit working..

>>50315
omg game of life is so cool i love all the little patterns and stuff. keep up the good work!!!

>>50341
I'm kinda slow sorry..

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I've opted to go for a turn-based game when I said I wouldn't.. just because I think it fits this aesthetic better and is easier to make, this is the pathfinding overlay..

>>50342
that’s okay :-3
>>50347
Looks dope. i have the utmost faith in you.

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I have basic AI working, pathfinding, dollar store raycasting for collision checking and line-of-sight..
pretty easy mapping, haven't added much to that but I can create maps easily and it loads and runs them fine with collision and stuff..
this screenshot is taken during the "day" during which the color palette changes..
the performance of all of this crap in GDScript is questionable, I've made the AI only process every 4 ticks and tried to make the pathing sparsely recalculated to lower the time it takes on average to tick..

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I need to spend more time on the computer

>>50420
so complex…

>>50516
sometimes you need to spend more time on the computer and sometimes less.. it’s difficult to find a balance…

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>>50526
I needed to create Nanazi

>>50528
why won't you make me art

>>50529
what do you need..

>>50530
an artist...

>>50531
for what..

>>50532
for things... idk...

>>50533
do you just need an excuse to talk to me or something, I don't quite get it

>>50528
lole cute

>>50534
no... it's too embarrassing to admit though.

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>>50536
incomprehensible and impossible to work with sorry

>>50537
even if i did admit it, you'd likely be reluctant anyways...

everyone is...

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>>50538
>>50539
I don't fear you and I'm not upset with you, I also have nothing banking on your existence so I don't fear a damn thing you say
you can talk to me privately, just unblock me, I don't bite anymore and I'm no prick

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this is another game I've been working on intermittently, I'm really shit at coming up with ideas and adding something new is like starting over again, hence my difficulty in working on it consistently
I'm so le scawed of le codeshart

>>50540
w-what is going on…

>>50541
coming up with ideas is so hard. every time i try and think about “making” anything im like “hm it feels like all of my ideas are just ripoffs of other things”

>>50542
the ripoff feeling is something you just have to give up on fighting at some point, most ideas have already been done before and it's not like you wake up good at things that require copying and practice to get good at
gotta chew through being garbage to get to the point of being almost less garbage.. or something

>>50540

who is jimster..

>>50544
I don't know if I should be giving out information like that in this context..

>>50545
scary... do you at least know him?

>>50546
I guess

>>50547
he added me a few days ago, but i got scared because i didn't know who he was, so i just ignored it

>>50548
that was my last effort to get you to talk to me, because I'm not talking on /bant/ anymore

>>50549
so it's you? why aren't you talking on /bant/ anymore?

>>50550
that's not me, no, I only have one Steam account and you know its name well
/bant/ wastes a bit too much of my time, I do not enjoy being there

>>50551
but i like wasting time...

>>50552
too bad

>>50553
i'm scared of adding you though...

>>50554
you don't need to be, I'm not upset with you and honestly I didn't know it was you for the longest time until recently in that long ass thread on /bant/
I'm not going to attack you and I kinda get nothing out of being mean to people anyway, I'm quite lonely myself

>>50555
consecutively repeating numerals...
i've been seeing those a lot for a while. 
maybe we'll figure something out eventually

>>50558
nothing ever changes if nothing is ever done..

>>50559
you can't make me... the loneliness contributes to my paranoia

>>50560
keep pressing it and I'll just assume you're fucking with me.. do what you want..

>>50562
i'm just as much of a creative as you are, i just focus my attention in a different area... but ok...

>>50564
I don't know who is who anymore here so I'll just shut up..

>>50565
meow

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tonight I think I will overdose..

>>50602
with what

water..

I think I will also take a very long bath..

>>50605
baths are so cozy. I haven’t taken one in years

>>50605
you gonna play with yourself

>>50726
Nick

>>50729
what now..

>>50730
nothing
good meowning

>>50732
kawaii

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this doesn't look like osage I'm so tired

>>50737
uohhh 😭

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🐱

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afibbljrOuk

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I have a migraine from jorking my peanuts too many times in one night..
https://holedigging.club/gallery/#!/browse/pics

>>50796
to what where you jorking it there's no porn in the gallery you posted..

>>50797
gallery unrelated

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what is this site anyway

>>50799
dunno sorry

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mourning scrimblos..

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time to play foxhole or whatever..

nvm nobody ever does anything..

>>50806
That’s not true!

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>>50808
nothing ever gets done..

meow

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>>50809
that may be true…

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>>50811
always will be..

what is the plon for today, Nickster?

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total nick death..

>>50814
do you need your hand held?

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I need drugs to abuse

>>50816
you don't seem to abuse drugs at all, if ever

you'd be right..

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>>50818
not even kohi kohi?

I drink coffee every day, I stopped for a while but started again, I feel worse now than I did when I wasn't drinking it..

>>50820
what do you need all the caffeine for...
bach drank coffee, and his output was immense

need to hurt myself somehow..

>>50822
you still seem to hate me

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if I hated you I would ignore every reply in this thread at this point..

>>50826
meow

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unga bunga..

>>50830
that's not very meowminary of you...

whatever..

>>50832
meow meow meow

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there are no cats here..

>>50834
nick as a cat...

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nope..

>>50837
nick with fur, whiskers, cat ears, paws, and a tail...

so not nick..

>>50839
nope you

nope not me if you add all those nonsensical things..

>>50837
What is this nonsense?

>>50841
it's in your minds eye now, so it is now true

it's low effort scribbling
my minds eye needs glasses

>>50121
>>50121
dumb

>>50845
wat

nothing of true consequence..

>>50845
you did imagine it though, now it will hang in your subconscience forevarr

idk if you know what I imagine..

>>50850
the sweet things you only see in dreams

I usually only have nightmares..

>>50852
your good dreams will now be about neko Nick meow

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highly doubt it..

>>50854
nya nya
neko nick
nya nya

disturbed individual.. mentally compromised.. intruded by rodents..

>>50854
What is the concept of this thread and texting yourself?

>>50856
ratto simulator 
*EEK it's a rat!*
ningen! oiiiii!
hrrratto squeek squeek

I'd sooner run outside and kiss a moving bus than talk to myself, that person is just attached to me..
I'm done scribbling for today..
>>50859
he ain't right in the head..

>>50860
attached is a stretch of the imagination, don't you think, neko nya Nick nya?
i'm just farming my daily dose of (you)'s... a (you) a day keeps the bad thoughts away~

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>>50860
draw this

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>>50862
you always come back for more..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2_LlMpedbrY
>>50863
I made some strange flubes in a random [s4s] flube creation thread one time..

>>50864
do you not want me around...?

>>50865
if you weren't around, who would I reply to with random scribbles?

>>50864
scribbbles

>>50866
Squishy is polite, he doesn't bite...

>>50868
nice poem or something..

>>50869
nice drawings or something..

>>50870
agree to disagree..

>>50871
i would commission you to make album art for me if it wasn't sovlless to pay for art.

>>50872
I am too shit to make anything coherent sorry..

>>50873
sovl matters more than coherency

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>>50874
I can't make sovl either..

>>50875
sovl isn't a product... you can't just fake it till you make it like in this phony crony society. it is a dynamic essence that is cultivated over time...

>>50877
I do nothing but waste time so whatever I guess

>>50878
not like there's any rush to do anything or be anyone

>>50879
there definitely is in my case..

>>50880
what is pressing you, neko nya Nick nya nya

>>50881
normal life things..

>>50882
life slows down at night though...

>>50883
I sleep at a reasonable time

>>50884
sleep is just a social construct

>>50885
that's fine..

>>50886
live a little...

>>50887
tried that, I've become dead myself..

>>50888
you don't have to let it become who you are...

>>50889
like everyone else, I'm a bit more complicated than being one thing and vary over time..

>>50890
i'm not. i'm simple and transparent, i think it disarms hostility and enables vulnerability, which is ultimately authenticity. simple life, simple as~

>>50891
I don't need to be simple to spit out how I feel, conveying meaning is a skill you can learn..

>>50892
i think society's pressure prevents that at times. we all sometimes get caught up...

>>50893
well I'm not caught..

>>50894
then what are the normal life thingys you were talking about...

>>50895
I was vague because I don't want to talk about it here

>>50896
you always press meeee about not being in your friends list wahhhhh

meow meow meow

>>50896
What is all this? you should play vidya

>>50897
>>50898
wats that?

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>>50899
hop on Proton 10 dude..
>>50897
not what I was doing but same effect I guess..
>>50900
it is what it is..

>>50901
i dunno what that is

>>50902
https://github.com/ValveSoftware/Proton/releases

micheal yakson

>>50901
hehe, you have to give me a (you) when everyone is talking over eachother

>>50906
I do not value (You)s and I have no particular pattern to when I give them other than I don't always feel like clicking the number..

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>>50907
nya nya neko Nick nya

>>50907
>>50906
Its very difficulto see if this is one person or  not

>>50908
ill
>>50909
all me btw

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>>50910
jellyfied

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>>50911

mow ow wow

the catdog is marking

>>50914
what did Nick eat today

>>50915
poptarts, water, coffee, pretzels, vienna sausage, honey bun
nothing healthy..

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>>50916
sipping my black tea at the new neko nya cafe a la Nick nya, while i pretend to be productive on my laptop like everyone else~

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>>50917
I don't even pretend to be productive..
Telegram are currently privately testing the post suggestions feature..

>>50918
wowzers i wish 4chud paid us in luckystars per post

>>50919
they'd go bankrupt..

>>50920
i wish we had telechan money... 4chon staff would probably just squander it on new seasonal anime figurines anyways...

>>50921
mhm..

>>50922
meow is my tea ready yet, neko Nick?

>>50923
I do not serve tea..

>>50924
what do you serve in this establishment...

>>50925
wasted time..

>>50926
i want a neko Nick dance in maid uniform now

>>50927
I will never do that..

>>50912
bread?

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>>50929
bread..

>>50928
it is already written into the plot

>>50931
I did not consent to this plot..

>>50927

whhy

>>50932
we have 5 more seasons of filler ahead of this, so get comfortable in that maid outfit

>>50934
insanity..

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>>50935
wan wan

>>50936
two two..

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>>50937
me me

>>50938
no no..

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>>50939
mhm mhm

>>50940
nuh uh..

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you can't resist the rhythm...

I can resist anything simply by dying..

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>>50943
we will resuscitate
you will be kept on life support
you will dance along to the beat

>>50944
I don't dance..

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>>50945
like you said about skills you can learn, you can learn to dance (at gunpoint)

>>50946
I don't want to dance..

>>50947
then what do you want to do? draw?

>>50948
I'm done drawing for today I think..
I don't know what I want to do really..

>>50949
pet a cat meow

>>50950
no..

>>50951
feed the birds? they are very hungry

>>50952
no bird feeders, not really any birds..

>>50953
what a conundrum...

>>50954
yeah no cats or birds, really tough stuff..

>>50955
what about dogs...

>>50956
even fewer of those things around here..

maybe it's time to move...

comfortable in my middle of nowhere..

>>50959
but then where are we?

>>50960
nowhere different, seemingly..

>>50961
we're in the neko Nick cafe nya you forgot

>>50962
that doesn't exist..

>>50963
neither do emotions, but we still have them anyways

>>50964
emotions exist..

>>50965
where?

>>50966
first we must ponder the meaning of existence, and what determines if something exists..
if a place is in your head and doesn't exist outside of it, it exists as a thought, not a place..
or something..
it doesn't exist

>>50967
i think neko Nick exists as much as our emotions do

>>50968
good for you..

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>>50969
yay can i get a "neko neko niiick~!"?

>>50970
no, that doesn't exist..

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>>50971
y-yes it does

>>50972
it does, for you..

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>>50973
mhm, and /r9k/'s finest gamerchair philosophers said nothing else exists but everything from your own perspective so i'm basically the reason you exist right now. you can thank me for keeping you alive~

>>50974
this is terrible news, stop that

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>>50975
don't worry, because i am such a benevolent ruler, i will share my consciousness with you and allow you autonomy. we're all gonna make it

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>>50976
shouldn't you be talking to your boyfriend?

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>>50977
why are you mad at me?

>>50978
just curious..

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>>50979
it's none of your skibidi beeswax business
anyways, i'm making tuna sandwiches, want one?

okie ja ne~
i guess...

k..

>>50985
chat, what did he mean by this

subjective..

>>50987
so you could be mad at me again?

>>50988
I'm not mad at you

>>50989
hmm...

>>50990
hm..

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>>50991
taste this tuna

>>50992
why am I tasting the tuna..

>>50993
i need a second opinion

>>50994
I'm not a tuna expert sorry..

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>>50995
you're missing out i think

>>50996
doubt it..

>>50997
what does Nick's imagination look like...

>>50998
void, maybe null..

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>>50999
erm... can i have some?

>>51000
if you can touch it you can have it..

>>51001
touch what
haha get it...

>>51002
it..

>>51003
erm... Nick bros?

>>51004
what..

>>51005
do you actually have any siblings?

>>51006
yes I have several..

>>51007
woahhhh Nick family reunion

>>51008
last time I saw most of my family was at my mother's funeral..

>>51009
my condolences...

you should treat me like a little brother, i only ever had sisters

>>51010
why..

>>51011
because we're practically like family, right?

>>51012
what brought you to that conclusion..

>>51013
idk

>>51014
k..

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>>51015
wow *smack smack*
thish tuna sandwich is rweally goood
*smack smack*

>>51016
good for you..

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>>51017
thx

>>51018
any time..

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>>51019
a little port from o porto too

>>51020
almost indecipherable to me sorry, I guess you mean wine..

>>51021
has Nick ever travelled?

>>51022
no

>>51023
why not..

>>51024
no desire to do anything, no money..

>>51025
not even family vacations?