Spoiler File
(271.6KB, 697x1024) This female performance, even if fake, even if nothing is felt, is the second greatest thing you can do in this world to me. Especially if the performance sets you for life financially. But the utter insanity... the fact that it relies solely on genetics and is on a time limit. I'm losing my will to live completely, I've shamefully obsessed over this my whole life and it's completely impossible for me, perfection that is. I contemplate my desires and their worth in euphoria. A petite female body, just the smooth skin and curves alone gives me euphoria just from my imagination. But I feel after a year I'd want something more. To me the promised feeling of the state of samadhi, 100x the feeling of orgasm. This is something perfect in the sense that it's not gate-kept by genetics and put on a 20 year time limit, it's our ability to perfect our spiritual state. But I feel more desire for the former still... How do people's minds not shatter at the idea of a perfect female form and sensuality, it's the highest beauty ever achieved universally. I've been obsessed about it ever since I can remember and it's so powerful that even if it's rooted in identity or purely a sexualization, I can't talk myself out of neutering my manhood and forming my life behind reaching even a iota of female form. Even when it'll make my life a much more shameful one to navigate. And in addition the female mind is a euphoria of its own too. Besides, you can't have a body like that and not go through certain personality changes. I've been contemplating specifics and wanting to embody that since I believe there's much more euphoria and fun to be had with the kind of mindset and archetypes girls tend to have. I mean a perfectly cute male in mind can technically be seen as a male minded person in an alternate society if you think about it. Anyways, thank you for listening to my TED talk.