>>59284
Well i did too, i can sort of relate, but i don't really see it as a primarily a bad thing
It did open up my eyes and made me justifiably wary of every race other than white, but also gave me purpose to live for a while which was fueled by hate and a love for my own kind. It was truly something spiritually special which I've yet to find a substitute for.
Disillusioned with the movement now and an event which left me feel betrayed I'm being led only by selfish interests and desire for more control. Which I can completely justify in my head with no moral qualms after going through a lot besides just that.
Perhaps try and see something positive in it too which will help you regret it less?