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[Hide] (7.2KB, 168x299) why should anyone care about me?
what could I obtain in body, mind, or soul that would be enough
nothing
so no one deserves infinite love?
simply as god, life itself deserves love
drooling, I stare blankly in anguish
death comes and I have the key to freedom but not the strength to pull it off
is my family's death the catalyst destined to kill my fragile temperament
oh how lovely a day I can truly act out my insanity without the stutter of being so anxious
and the plans that can succeed that will shift the worldly perspective
I look down at the malaise, a detriment to the soul's cause
beauty and passion you mute, a fiery personality you call insane
I don't want you to care about what I say
everything you think is nothingness, everything in the universe is ill and corrupt and me especially
again I write to you finding myself utterly devoid of love for myself and you
so here is my heart as it breaks
and nothing scares me anymore in this moment
if hell has to be wrought over myself and my beloved family I do not care anymore
god has created this personhood
and I hate it, fucking hatred for it all
I scorn myself, I am a rotting pig
may I burn in hell
not for my sins
but so that then I may feel the importance of my fucking health and sovereignty
my heart hurts at last
I stare in focus, petrified, a lingering potentiality of sobbing
although it feels like I'm finally feeling alive and with a newfound sensitivity, breathing in my heart, drawing it's energies
drowning not in sorrow but in my new love
staring blankly into my mind
that disgusting feeling of my life
bitter sweetness I am grateful to feel
addicted whore, retarded pig, failure, and my whole family worries
undeserving as innocent as I may seem
I don't like them and I am unfeeling and without ambition often
yet calm and spacious a mind sacrificed
actions should be unconscious
light should be self