Sometimes I wonder if I deserve to be alone and don't deserve to be loved. I was a shitty person to the people that cared about me and never bothered to understand the people around me. I would vent my emotions to people but never really cared about them or their problems. I never tried to understand other people or sympathize with them. I only cared about my feeling and gaining validation by being "right" about everything. I think I was lucky to even have friends that put up with me when I would've hated anyone that acted like me irl.
i think you're self-loathing squishy, talking about how you won't ever deserve to be loved and then talking about how "you don't care about others" is mostly paradoxical when someone that truly doesn't care wouldn't think about such a thing
>>66937 (OP) i am in the exact same situation
yea it really is a marvel of the human spirit that ppl put up with me for as long as they did
>>66937 (OP) post the last messages that your former friends send in ur dms before they block u i wanna see if they're like mine